Elephants Can Dance - Off-Roading In The 2013 Mercedes-Benz G-Class
What is it like to pilot a $120,000 Mercedes-Benz G-Class sport-utility vehicle across hardcore terrain, down narrow, twisty trails, and up steep, tree-lined inclines? On the one hand, you find yourself cringing with each scrape of a branch against the SUV's immaculate black paint, and the unspecified impacts of rocks and other debris on its reinforced undersides. On the other, you are repeatedly impressed with how the machine projects unstoppability from behind the wheel, and how amazingly calm its cabin feels as the vehicle's front end rears up to face the sky while balancing on just two wheels.
You could call it a study in contrasts, which is a perfect metaphor for the 2013 Mercedes-Benz G-Class. This big and brawny SUV features throwback 90-degree right angle exterior design, yet it delivers not just macho off-road performance but also a level of pampering seldom seen outside of a luxury sedan. Our recent experience piloting the G-Class down some extremely challenging wilderness trails gave us plenty of food for thought regarding one of the Silver Star's rarest and most specialized automobiles.
Destination: Anywhere
On first approach, the 2013 Mercedes-Benz G550 gives off an unassailable aura, almost as if someone had taken a 17th century fortress and put it on wheels. The chiselled-from-stone looks haven't changed much since the vehicle first debuted at the end of the 1970's, but opening up the vehicle's cabin dispels the exterior's paramilitary feel almost immediately. The G550's interior amenities are top notch, but that's not what we're going to talk about in this review.
Instead, we're going to focus on the fact that the 2013 Mercedes-Benz G550 is the kind of vehicle that will take you absolutely anywhere you want to go - a fact that was admirably demonstrated during the hour-and-a-half that we spent pushing the boundaries of just how much abuse the G-Class platform can take before it begs for mercy. Here's a spoiler: the SUV never even broke a sweat.
One At A Time, Please
The trail we were lead down by Mercedes-Benz's experienced team of off-road professionals was located about an hour outside of Toronto, Ontario. Almost immediately, we engaged the three locking differentials that come standard with the G-Class (front, center, and rear) and shifted into D1 on the vehicle's seven-speed automatic transmission. This shut off most of the truck's electronic nannies and tapped into the full-time four-wheel drive system's ability to creep downhill without the need to touch the brakes.
The G-Class tilted at a precarious angle as we slowly made our way down the uneven ruts that made up the first section of the trail, but it never felt anything other than solid and safe, no matter how obtuse its orientation became. Climbing was also accomplished with a minimum of drama. The G-Class is capable of handling inclines - or declines - of up to 80 percent, and while one's brain might scream that pointing the nose of such a large truck straight up at the sky or directly down at the dirt is definitely not something you want to do, the constant traction of its four-wheel drive system and rugged solid axles (front and rear) suggest otherwise.
Perfectly Composed
Having 21 centimetres of ground clearance available at all times meant that fording small ponds or pits filled with mud posed absolutely no challenge to the G-Class. Even more surprising was the fact that despite the 382 horsepower and 391 lb-ft of torque on tap from the G550's 5.5-liter V-8 engine we were unable to detect any wheel spin whatsoever during our entire excursion. Given that Mercedes-Benz outfits the G-Class with 18-inch tires that appear for all intents and purposes to be standard SUV rubber and not aggressively knobby off-road grabbers, this is a startling characteristic for such a mighty vehicle.
Even when hanging half of the truck's contact patches in the air while traversing what the event organizer's called 'elephant tracks' - essentially muddy moguls spaced unevenly along the trail - the G-Class never once lost its grip on the sandy, slick surfaces that we asked it to traverse. It's worth mentioning that unlike equally capable off-roaders from Jeep or Toyota, when the G550 was eating up the roughest of trail conditions its passenger compartment remained comfortable and isolated from the bumps and bruises being inflicted on the vehicle's chassis - an amazing accomplishment that made us feel like we were piloting our living room through the forest.
No Poseurs Here
The 2013 Mercedes-Benz G-Class is certainly an anachronism, a hyper-expensive, ultra-capable luxury sport-utility vehicle that finds less than 100 buyers a year on the Canadian market. Yet there is such a cult following for this boxy truck that when the company attempted to end its export in the 2000's an outcry from loyal owners (plus the timely placement of an order for the military version of the vehicle) saved it from an early retirement.
We are definitely glad that the Mercedes-Benz G-Class is still alive and well, not only for its ability to kick sand in the fact of less well-endowed but equally expensive luxury SUVs, but also in case there's ever an alien invasion of the planet Earth. We know exactly what truck we'd choose to outfit our rag-tag band of rebels holed up deep in the Canadian shield - provided we could find a human patron generous enough to foot the G550's staggering price tag, of course.
