2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 - Lucifer's SUV
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There’s no practical reason to own the 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8. There, I’ve said it. There are plenty of other mid-size SUV options out there – including within Jeep’s own line-up – that can out-tow the SRT8, carry as many or more passengers, provide respectable acceleration, and not completely murder your savings account at the fuel pump in the process.
And yet, I want one. I want one more than I want any of the other high performance SUVs out there, including the much more expensive Porsche Cayenne Turbo and the BMW X5 M. These are trucks that can pull ahead of the Grand Cherokee SRT8 pound-for-pound when it comes to acceleration and all-out speed, but they simply don’t emotionally resonate with me in the same way that a Jeep with a 6.4-liter, 470 horsepower V-8 engine under the hood does.
Let me explain.
The Mecca Of High Performance Trucks
The 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 is more than just a fast SUV – it’s a spiritual experience. From the moment you slip behind its wheel, you are transported into a world where every Mustang GT that pulls up beside you at a stop light is a potential mark, and every empty stretch of road that opens up in front of you is a canvas on which to paint four parallel strips of smoking black rubber.
There’s something about 465 lb-ft of torque that changes everything about your attitude towards driving. The SRT8’s Hemi V-8 is all too eager to respond to even the slightest pedal pressure, sending the 2,400 kg truck hurtling forward at such a rapid pace that you begin to wonder whether you have accidentally triggered some kind of on-board afterburner rocket. Setting the Selec-Track four-wheel drive system to “Track” using the rotary dial on the center console punches up the responsiveness of the five-speed automatic transmission and turns off traction control, allowing the Jeep to make the quarter-mile run in just 13.5 seconds @ 162 km/h. It also provides plenty of opportunity to kick the SRT8’s tail sideways on dry pavement with the judicious application of the throttle, a rare characteristic for a four-wheel drive vehicle.
While the Grand Cherokee SRT8’s acceleration might defy the laws of physics, its handling does not. The Jeep’s suspension system has been lowered and stiffened to take into account the demands of performance-oriented driving, but it goes against every instinct to throw such a tall, heavy vehicle into a corner and trust that its four wheels of grip and electronic stability control will see it come out the other side in one piece. Chrysler might consider the SRT8 track-ready, but that’s a decision for a more talented driver than I to make.
On the street, the 2012 Grand Cherokee SRT8 is capable of behaving itself as long as the person behind the wheel is fully aware of the consequences of even slightly aggressive throttle application. The suspension is firm, but not punishing, making the SUV a capable daily driver for those who must use it to shuttle to and from work in between drag strip dates. Despite the presence of cylinder-deactivation technology (and a hilariously optimistic “ECO” light located between the tachometer and the speedometer), the SRT8’s fuel efficiency is predictably terrible, coming in at 17.1 l/100 km city and 11.4 l/100 km highway. Of course, if you are in the market for a near-500 horsepower sport-utility vehicle, the amount of fuel it consumes no doubt ranks below how many cup holders it has on the scale of important features.
Beautiful On The Outside
The Jeep Grand Cherokee was redesigned for the 2012 model year, and the SRT8 is all-new as a result. In addition to a revised chassis and more powerful engine, the performance truck offers revamped exterior styling that is considerably more attractive than the harder edges of the first-generation vehicle. The Grand Cherokee SRT8 is easily identifiable via the heat extractors on its hood and its sporty front and rear fascias, and those who were disappointed with the lack of towing hardware associated with the original SRT8 will be happy to see that the exhaust pipes have migrated away from the center of the back bumper in order to make it easier to hitch up a trailer.
Inside, the roomy Grand Cherokee offers all of the luxuries one might expect from a top-tier Jeep, including a heated flat-bottomed steering wheel, heated leather sports seats, and the excellent Uconnect touchscreen and voice interface. It’s pleasing to see a company get all of the ergonomics right when it comes to navigation and communications, and I also had no trouble figuring out the Jeep’s entertainment features. I wasn’t quite so charmed by the cartoonish – and quite large – PRND lettering beside the shift lever, or the somewhat cheap-feeling door panel and dash coverings.
Aside from carbon fibre interior trim and the requisite SRT8 badging, the most distinctive feature to be found inside the Grand Cherokee SRT8 is the performance meter. Located directly in front of the driver in the form of a small LCD screen, this system allows for the measurement and storage of G forces experienced by the vehicle, 0-200 and 0-400 metre times, and even a braking distance indicator that underscored just how effective the enormous Brembo units outfitted to the SRT8 are at arresting its forward motion.
Imitated, But Never Duplicated
If you absolutely must purchase a blazingly fast SUV, the 2012 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8 is the one you want. Yes, you can spend huge additional sums to achieve more refined handling and vastly upgraded interior amenities, but when the rubber meets the road there’s simply no real justification for blowing extra cash for middling performance gains over what the Jeep has to offer. As a stand-alone model, the Grand Cherokee SRT8 is a completely unnecessary, and extremely fast vehicle. When compared against its rivals, it’s a must-buy.
